Since you're reading this, you must have at least a nagging suspicion that things aren't working out. Here's the nut of the matter: sometimes we're right, and sometimes we're wrong. The new age of gadgets, the Internet, and online dating speeds things up dramatically. Couples go through meeting, dating, and breakup in record time - could be a month or less.
Especially with young singles, the pace tends to be confusing. This is one area where it's good to procrastinate sometimes. Don't just fly off and make rash decisions on a gut instinct. Sleep on it.
Now then, there's four classes of problems that a relationship can have: problems with you, problems with the other person, problems that can be worked out, and problems that can't. Knowing the difference is half the battle.
Some relationships get torn apart just because of circumstances. You live too far apart, one wants a career and the other wants to start a family, one's going to college and too busy working on their degree, or various other circumstances. Problems like these can sometimes be solved with time and patience. One or the other partner might change their mind and decide they'd like to move to the other's city after all. People who put off a family until they have their career locked in might want to start a family later.
Second is problems with just one person. It takes some real maturity to know the difference and how to deal with it. If the whole problem's with your partner and they admit it, it should be out between you. But you can't fix people. Your partner has to decide that they want to change and you have to decide if you're patient enough to wait for them.
Problems with you, on the other hand, will be tougher to deal with. Maybe you're just not ready for a commitment - an example of a problem that will change over time. Maybe your lifestyle just doesn't match with the other person's - a difficult problem to resolve. Maybe you have a substance abuse problem - if so, this should be a big, red flag warning that your issues with alcohol or drugs are ruining your life. Maybe you have baggage from childhood. That's another big problem, because it's difficult to realize first of all, and then sometimes after you realize it you can deal with it by yourself, and sometimes it takes heavy therapy.
When you're deciding to end it, this is a time to talk it over with your partner. Bring it up - you need to heavily stress the importance of honest communication. Give your partner a chance to recover, and respond with how you want to go forward. Some people just don't know there's a problem until you bring it up. Whatever you do, decisions to break up should not be made when you're tired, stressed, angry, arguing, or drunk. You should be calm and rational, otherwise you'll just end up regretting your words later.
When making your break-up speech, do not hedge around, but deal with it in a mature way. Keep it neutral. It's not any body's fault, just 'we aren't working out together' and explain why. We call it 'dumping', but really we should try to see this as a positive step for both parties. 'Dumping' implies that there is a perpetrator and a victim. A mutual decision to break up leaves both parties free to move on with dignity.
Unless you've been dating for only two months or less, it's usually not the best idea to simply drop the bomb with an email or a text message. The concept here is that you should treat your own relationship with more dignity than that. If you've been dating for two years, obviously there was something there at one time. You owe yourself and your partner a full chance to absorb and process the relationship's ending.
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