Sometimes it seems like flirting is on the way out. People are too serious now. If you aren't serious about dating someone, then you can't flirt with them because you'll get slapped for sexual harassment or something. If you are serious about someone, you have to spell it out like a legal contract, and there goes all that fun coy hinting. And then you have today's long-distance relationship effect. It just isn't as easy to spontaneously flirt with someone from 50 miles away over a phone.
In case anybody cares anymore, AskMen tells guys how to flirt. Dating-to-Relating also has an article on how to flirt with women. Meanwhile, Relationship Blackbook has flirting advice for the women. And here's a beginner's guide to flirting.
That ought to be enough to get you started. Just remember, it's fun, like three-year-old playmates teasing each other. But it also serves a function: it helps you be less shy with the opposite sex, lets you test your meddle in situations where you're not too secure. Like we say, flirting's going out of style because everybody's too serious now. You know what the cure for that is? Date a clown.
Visit this month's sponsor of 'For Singles' at Phone Sex Australia.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Fun and Original Dating Ideas
File this under "daringly original!" This site has a list of dating ideas that sound like something XKCD would come up with!
Our favorites:
Online Dating
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Our favorites:
- 2. Notes in books. Actually, this is better at the library. Try not to be public nuisances though.
- 5. Superheroes. Or just help little kids get their ball back, help people cross the street, and so on. Be careful though, because a superhero costume can be tough to live up to!
- 9. Collaborative writing in public. that could liven up any night at a Starbuck's, and you might even get something good out of it.
- 11. Doing the lamest tourist thing in your area. One of our staff who lived in Las Vegas, Nevada, swore by taking the Star Tours ride. Goofy, geeky, and cheesy, but you have to admit that they put on a great show.
- 16. Security camera theater. And be sure to stage a purse-snatching.
- 20. This works better with the really lame B-movies. Rent Zardoz, Manos the Hands of Fate, or Plan Nine From Outer Space and snark on them together.
Online Dating
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Sunday, June 28, 2009
Should You Date The Geek?
At the one end of the spectrum, we have the beautiful people. Dishy, sultry goddesses or hot, hunky sheiks. If you're financially well-to-do or just looking for a trophy, these make great arm candy. Beauty has its place in the world, and we aren't going to discredit it here.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have the people whose greatest asset is not their looks, but their brains and personality. Bring highly skilled intellectually does tend to shape the personality to some extant, so they're related.
Now, this being the Internet, and especially this being about online dating, you may have noticed that there's a lot of geeks on here. That's no mystery. In the general population, it's a toss-up whether any given person has even been online. But a geek always will be.
To clarify: by 'geek' we mean someone who's very proficient at science, engineering, or technology. Especially the computer professional is considered a geek. We don't mean necessarily the stereotype of a socially-inept, awkward person. We mean the kind of person who's brainy, gotten a technical job, and has many hobbies on the side that require intense concentration.
Since the start of online dating, many people have been surprised to discover that the geek personality makes a fantastic mate. Don't look to a geek to be a one-night stand or casual fling; these types of people rarely appreciate this kind of treatment. But for solid, life-long commitment material, geeks wear very well.
So, what is it about geeks that make them such great marriage material?
* They're faithful.
Honesty and intellectual merit often go hand in hand. Geeks are also one of the few left in society clinging to those outdated concepts of integrity, chivalry, and character.
* They're good providers. Any geek probably gets better pay than the average population.
They also tend to be financially stable, since they aren't prone to blowing their money on impulse purchases and maxed-out credit cards.
* They're good company. A non-geek will have interests like TV programs, sports, and drinking. An average geek might be into exotic pets, playing the saxophone, programming in Python, manga comics, an Eastern religion, and has read a ton of books. They'll have something to talk about.
* They're passionate. Geeks never do anything half-way. They'll set out to recreate a scene from the third Star Wars movie in Lego, and they won't stop until it's finished and done perfectly, with all the right colored blocks and exactly the same scale throughout. Now picture them applying that same patience and devotion to you! A geek will be more eager to dig in and solve a problem with your relationship, rather than just give up and get a divorce.
* They're clean. By 'clean', we mean drug and disease-free. They're certainly less sexually promiscuous, and they tend to avoid alcohol and drugs. This makes sense when you realize that intelligent people have a lot to loose by abusing their mind with chemicals, and they get more fun out of an all-night World-of-Warcraft session anyway.
* They're handy. Once an engineer studies to a certain level, there just isn't anything around the house they can't fix. Especially true when they build their own computers, since these days everything more complex than a toaster has a microprocessor built-in. So everything from your microwave to your car becomes just another computer to them, and therefore something they understand.
* They're tolerant. In fat, they demand a certain amount of tolerance. In the geek's world, men and women, straight and gay, black and white, liberal and conservative, all are equal in their outlook. This is just an off-shoot of their careers and the environment they normally inhabit.
Now, we don't guarantee that the first geek you find will be the ideal partner for you. The geek personality has some downsides as well. But if you've searched the web for 'date a geek' and seen some of those online articles raving about them, this explains what the attraction is.
Feeling lonely tonight? Try our sponsors Erotic Phone Sex Stories.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have the people whose greatest asset is not their looks, but their brains and personality. Bring highly skilled intellectually does tend to shape the personality to some extant, so they're related.
Now, this being the Internet, and especially this being about online dating, you may have noticed that there's a lot of geeks on here. That's no mystery. In the general population, it's a toss-up whether any given person has even been online. But a geek always will be.
To clarify: by 'geek' we mean someone who's very proficient at science, engineering, or technology. Especially the computer professional is considered a geek. We don't mean necessarily the stereotype of a socially-inept, awkward person. We mean the kind of person who's brainy, gotten a technical job, and has many hobbies on the side that require intense concentration.
Since the start of online dating, many people have been surprised to discover that the geek personality makes a fantastic mate. Don't look to a geek to be a one-night stand or casual fling; these types of people rarely appreciate this kind of treatment. But for solid, life-long commitment material, geeks wear very well.
So, what is it about geeks that make them such great marriage material?
* They're faithful.
Honesty and intellectual merit often go hand in hand. Geeks are also one of the few left in society clinging to those outdated concepts of integrity, chivalry, and character.
* They're good providers. Any geek probably gets better pay than the average population.
They also tend to be financially stable, since they aren't prone to blowing their money on impulse purchases and maxed-out credit cards.
* They're good company. A non-geek will have interests like TV programs, sports, and drinking. An average geek might be into exotic pets, playing the saxophone, programming in Python, manga comics, an Eastern religion, and has read a ton of books. They'll have something to talk about.
* They're passionate. Geeks never do anything half-way. They'll set out to recreate a scene from the third Star Wars movie in Lego, and they won't stop until it's finished and done perfectly, with all the right colored blocks and exactly the same scale throughout. Now picture them applying that same patience and devotion to you! A geek will be more eager to dig in and solve a problem with your relationship, rather than just give up and get a divorce.
* They're clean. By 'clean', we mean drug and disease-free. They're certainly less sexually promiscuous, and they tend to avoid alcohol and drugs. This makes sense when you realize that intelligent people have a lot to loose by abusing their mind with chemicals, and they get more fun out of an all-night World-of-Warcraft session anyway.
* They're handy. Once an engineer studies to a certain level, there just isn't anything around the house they can't fix. Especially true when they build their own computers, since these days everything more complex than a toaster has a microprocessor built-in. So everything from your microwave to your car becomes just another computer to them, and therefore something they understand.
* They're tolerant. In fat, they demand a certain amount of tolerance. In the geek's world, men and women, straight and gay, black and white, liberal and conservative, all are equal in their outlook. This is just an off-shoot of their careers and the environment they normally inhabit.
Now, we don't guarantee that the first geek you find will be the ideal partner for you. The geek personality has some downsides as well. But if you've searched the web for 'date a geek' and seen some of those online articles raving about them, this explains what the attraction is.
Feeling lonely tonight? Try our sponsors Erotic Phone Sex Stories.
Ready To Mingle But Still Single
At some point of time we all wish to be a part of a relationship and explore the feeling of being with that special someone. Most often, the thought of others having a boyfriend may trouble you, as you feel you are nothing less than them, but still do not have a suitable partner. There are few people who desperately want to be in a relationship, but simply fail to find the right person. The reason could be your attitude. I have seen quite a few people who are narrow-minded, and are simply not interested to remain in a relationship, when the truth is that they are actually interested. You do not realize, but your body language and attitude may present a different impression, even though you may want to stay single.
There are people who simply worship work. When they are asked for a date they come up with reasons like being busy or caught up with something important to do. However, the fact is that they want to accept the offer, but their subconscious mind holds them back. The reasons for this could be many. For example, some people get too conscious about the way they look. They give too much importance to thoughts like whether they can impress the person, or will he/she be interested in listening to what I have to say and so on. Instead of these thoughts troubling you, it is best to bury them and get going to explore this new person. Your low confidence can harm you, when you say, “I am Not Interested”. And this could be the reason that makes you remain single.
When you have liked someone, it is fine to let him/her know. Holding back your feelings will not work. Be prepared to either hear a “yes” or “no”. If you are genuine in looking out for a date, you need to take the step first. You can join dating sites and look out for a perfect match. However, when you become a part of these sites, remember one thing, it is almost next to impossible to meet the right person on the first date itself. You should analyze a person before making a decision to establish a relationship. Experiencing some bad dates does not mean that you get back to your boring old days.
If you want to mingle with the right person, you need to have an open mind. Do not have too many expectations that you would find it hard to be in a relationship. Have a realistic approach when you're looking out for a perfect date. There are a few girls who look out for a man who can fulfill their desires and wishes. They need a partner only for their needs and to bury the boredom of being single. Having a selfish attitude like this will hardy help. At first you may succeed in getting your way, however, as they learn about your motives they will simply turn away from you, no matter how beautiful you are.
Be clear with yourself, when you are looking out for a soul mate. Search your heart deep within and determine what kind of a person you would want to relate to in your life. Don't expect too much and have a practical approach. Take care of your attitude every time you meet a person of the opposite sex, as this may increase your chances of finding the perfect date and soul mate.
Try one of our sponsors of 'For Singles' for The Best PhoneSex in Australia.
There are people who simply worship work. When they are asked for a date they come up with reasons like being busy or caught up with something important to do. However, the fact is that they want to accept the offer, but their subconscious mind holds them back. The reasons for this could be many. For example, some people get too conscious about the way they look. They give too much importance to thoughts like whether they can impress the person, or will he/she be interested in listening to what I have to say and so on. Instead of these thoughts troubling you, it is best to bury them and get going to explore this new person. Your low confidence can harm you, when you say, “I am Not Interested”. And this could be the reason that makes you remain single.
When you have liked someone, it is fine to let him/her know. Holding back your feelings will not work. Be prepared to either hear a “yes” or “no”. If you are genuine in looking out for a date, you need to take the step first. You can join dating sites and look out for a perfect match. However, when you become a part of these sites, remember one thing, it is almost next to impossible to meet the right person on the first date itself. You should analyze a person before making a decision to establish a relationship. Experiencing some bad dates does not mean that you get back to your boring old days.
If you want to mingle with the right person, you need to have an open mind. Do not have too many expectations that you would find it hard to be in a relationship. Have a realistic approach when you're looking out for a perfect date. There are a few girls who look out for a man who can fulfill their desires and wishes. They need a partner only for their needs and to bury the boredom of being single. Having a selfish attitude like this will hardy help. At first you may succeed in getting your way, however, as they learn about your motives they will simply turn away from you, no matter how beautiful you are.
Be clear with yourself, when you are looking out for a soul mate. Search your heart deep within and determine what kind of a person you would want to relate to in your life. Don't expect too much and have a practical approach. Take care of your attitude every time you meet a person of the opposite sex, as this may increase your chances of finding the perfect date and soul mate.
Try one of our sponsors of 'For Singles' for The Best PhoneSex in Australia.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Dating Singles In The Text-Messenger Era
Oh for the good old days, when courting was so much simpler! You could meet in person or send a letter - that's all! As opposed to dating in the 21st century, where you practically need to gear up like a hunter venturing into the Outback. Dating these days is much faster-paced, and social communication has evolved to completely new spheres.
Phones_ We've all dealt with phones before, but now that phones are mobile you can expect to get hold of someone at any time and under any circumstances. Jealous lovers exploit these, treating the phone as an electronic leash to check up on their partner constantly. For phoning your date, take into account that no matter how glad they are to hear from you, they may have to pay attention to their job or drive a car sometimes. For answering, consider that you can let that call go to voicemail. Sometimes that's better than having to make an on-the-spot decision about your next date while you're preoccupied at the moment.
Email_ The closest thing to written letters we use any more. The nice thing with emails is that they can be answered at leisure. Save the ones you receive from your lover - they'll make great sentimental reading years down the road. For sending, take your time and compose something fun. Be spicy and flirty, or compose a beautiful poem, or send an e-card. Watch out for snoopers and privacy lapses - some very important people have been fired over the discovery of emails from relationships which should have been kept private.
Text_ Text messaging or SMS is the new standard. If you use Twitter, beware of saying anything you wouldn't want to be made public, because you can't delete Twitter. Instant messenger programs like ICQ and Yahoo Messenger also save an archive of past messages. More than one cheating spouse has been caught this way. As for your partner, be aware that text messages are always brief and intended to be a limited media. It's easy to say something that gets taken the wrong way!
Webcams_ Possibly the most fun invention in online dating! With a webcam, you and your partner can put on a show for each other, or just get a chance to see that wonderful face when you can't be there in person. The younger generation have turned to using webcams for virtual sex - there's no safer sex than that! Just be aware when your webcam is on and off - sometimes its a drawback if your partner becomes a 'Big Brother' watching your every move.
Websites_ Need we say here that your online personals ad is the cornerstone of your online dating experience? Well, we've said it anyway! Your online dating profile is your 'resume' for prospective partners. Tie it in with your accounts on social networks like Facebook and MySpace, and you have a network of pages about you and everything going on in your world. By the way, just because you have a partner doesn't mean you have to take your account down! You can keep it there to stay in touch with friends, and just mark it as 'not looking' for now. The biggest thing you should concern yourself with is not letting your boss at work or other busy-bodies know about it.
Visit this month's sponsor of 'For Singles' at Cheap Phone Sex & Adult Dating Services.
Phones_ We've all dealt with phones before, but now that phones are mobile you can expect to get hold of someone at any time and under any circumstances. Jealous lovers exploit these, treating the phone as an electronic leash to check up on their partner constantly. For phoning your date, take into account that no matter how glad they are to hear from you, they may have to pay attention to their job or drive a car sometimes. For answering, consider that you can let that call go to voicemail. Sometimes that's better than having to make an on-the-spot decision about your next date while you're preoccupied at the moment.
Email_ The closest thing to written letters we use any more. The nice thing with emails is that they can be answered at leisure. Save the ones you receive from your lover - they'll make great sentimental reading years down the road. For sending, take your time and compose something fun. Be spicy and flirty, or compose a beautiful poem, or send an e-card. Watch out for snoopers and privacy lapses - some very important people have been fired over the discovery of emails from relationships which should have been kept private.
Text_ Text messaging or SMS is the new standard. If you use Twitter, beware of saying anything you wouldn't want to be made public, because you can't delete Twitter. Instant messenger programs like ICQ and Yahoo Messenger also save an archive of past messages. More than one cheating spouse has been caught this way. As for your partner, be aware that text messages are always brief and intended to be a limited media. It's easy to say something that gets taken the wrong way!
Webcams_ Possibly the most fun invention in online dating! With a webcam, you and your partner can put on a show for each other, or just get a chance to see that wonderful face when you can't be there in person. The younger generation have turned to using webcams for virtual sex - there's no safer sex than that! Just be aware when your webcam is on and off - sometimes its a drawback if your partner becomes a 'Big Brother' watching your every move.
Websites_ Need we say here that your online personals ad is the cornerstone of your online dating experience? Well, we've said it anyway! Your online dating profile is your 'resume' for prospective partners. Tie it in with your accounts on social networks like Facebook and MySpace, and you have a network of pages about you and everything going on in your world. By the way, just because you have a partner doesn't mean you have to take your account down! You can keep it there to stay in touch with friends, and just mark it as 'not looking' for now. The biggest thing you should concern yourself with is not letting your boss at work or other busy-bodies know about it.
Visit this month's sponsor of 'For Singles' at Cheap Phone Sex & Adult Dating Services.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Six Mistakes Single Women Make in Their Online Dating Profile
This time we'll address it just for the ladies. It's your turn, gals. Here, straight from several surveys of hundreds of men, are the top things in your personals website page that turns men off.
#1. Complaining about your past relationships.
'My last ex was a jerk!' 'Are all men alike?' 'One last time before I just give up and become a nun!' The problem is that you think you're warning men what mistakes not to make with you, but what men see when they read this is, 'She's angry because of something some guy I don't even know did to her, and now she wants to take it out on me!' Presumably, we've all had some relationships that didn't work out. That's why we're all here, isn't it?
#2. Bad picture.
In case you haven't noticed, men tend to pay attention to how you look. We know it's shocking news, but just keep an open mind for a minute. Even if you're not a '10' - or even a '5'! - a clear, well-lit, well-framed picture of you matters. Photos that are blurry, dark, or only catch a piece of you going by are actually worse than no picture at all. Oh, and by the way, smile.
#3. Writing like a romance novel.
'Passionate temptress seeks knight in shining armor. Capture me, captivate me, sweep me off my feet! Come, Sir Galahad, surround my fortress, swim in my moat, and I'll raise my drawbridge and together we shall rule our fiefdom.' The guys say, 'Great, I just lost my lunch.' The problem with this isn't that men can't be passionate or poetic, but that it says that you get everything you know about men out of a fantasy universe where winged unicorns fly over rainbows. You know how you can tell when a man knows nothing about women beyond what he picked up from porno mags? this is the female equivalent of that.
#4. The 'Need List'.
You need somebody who likes eggs but not omelets, can dance but only the Watusi, eats Japanese food but doesn't use chopsticks because that would be too pretentious, will call you exactly four times per day, likes dogs but only Pomeranians and Dachshunds, must be earning over $300K/year... you don't want a man. You want a robot you can program.
#5. Sounding like you have no mind of your own.
'Well, I'm a natural girl who likes to have fun.' Really? You do? You didn't just copy that from another profile, did you? Because if you hadn't told us, we honestly would have thought that you'd rather run through a plate glass window and dive into a pool full of sulfuric acid while being chased by a swarm of hornets rather than have a moment's fun. That was the problem with our last date: we asked her 'Why don't we do something fun?' and she made an awful face and said, 'Fun? Yuck! I hate that!' How about being smart and funny with a personality?
#6. Being insecure.
We really, really love honesty, but you have to be careful in being so humble that you start sounding like a doormat. Spare the beating yourself up, thinking you need to be validated for being beautiful, attractive, etc. Men read this and think, 'Needy, clingy sponge with no ego of her own!'
#1. Complaining about your past relationships.
'My last ex was a jerk!' 'Are all men alike?' 'One last time before I just give up and become a nun!' The problem is that you think you're warning men what mistakes not to make with you, but what men see when they read this is, 'She's angry because of something some guy I don't even know did to her, and now she wants to take it out on me!' Presumably, we've all had some relationships that didn't work out. That's why we're all here, isn't it?
#2. Bad picture.
In case you haven't noticed, men tend to pay attention to how you look. We know it's shocking news, but just keep an open mind for a minute. Even if you're not a '10' - or even a '5'! - a clear, well-lit, well-framed picture of you matters. Photos that are blurry, dark, or only catch a piece of you going by are actually worse than no picture at all. Oh, and by the way, smile.
#3. Writing like a romance novel.
'Passionate temptress seeks knight in shining armor. Capture me, captivate me, sweep me off my feet! Come, Sir Galahad, surround my fortress, swim in my moat, and I'll raise my drawbridge and together we shall rule our fiefdom.' The guys say, 'Great, I just lost my lunch.' The problem with this isn't that men can't be passionate or poetic, but that it says that you get everything you know about men out of a fantasy universe where winged unicorns fly over rainbows. You know how you can tell when a man knows nothing about women beyond what he picked up from porno mags? this is the female equivalent of that.
#4. The 'Need List'.
You need somebody who likes eggs but not omelets, can dance but only the Watusi, eats Japanese food but doesn't use chopsticks because that would be too pretentious, will call you exactly four times per day, likes dogs but only Pomeranians and Dachshunds, must be earning over $300K/year... you don't want a man. You want a robot you can program.
#5. Sounding like you have no mind of your own.
'Well, I'm a natural girl who likes to have fun.' Really? You do? You didn't just copy that from another profile, did you? Because if you hadn't told us, we honestly would have thought that you'd rather run through a plate glass window and dive into a pool full of sulfuric acid while being chased by a swarm of hornets rather than have a moment's fun. That was the problem with our last date: we asked her 'Why don't we do something fun?' and she made an awful face and said, 'Fun? Yuck! I hate that!' How about being smart and funny with a personality?
#6. Being insecure.
We really, really love honesty, but you have to be careful in being so humble that you start sounding like a doormat. Spare the beating yourself up, thinking you need to be validated for being beautiful, attractive, etc. Men read this and think, 'Needy, clingy sponge with no ego of her own!'
Friday, January 23, 2009
Singles - Having Trouble Finding A Partner? Get A Life!
Oh, we don't mean that in a mean way! Here's what we're talking about:
You're filling in your online dating profile. You're racking your brain to think of things to write about. 'I enjoy long walks.' Yes, we all do. What else? 'I'm looking for someone.' Well, duh, you're on a dating website! 'I love horses.' Do you even own one?
It can be quite a blow to your ego to sit down to write about your life and discover that you ran out of things to say in six sentences. Furthermore, that audience of strangers out there might find you a tad boring. Especially in the case of young people just starting out, you don't have much of a life going on to talk about yet. What you need to do is turn yourself into a fascinating person, with depth and broadness and stimulating things to talk about. Somebody who's too busy to hang out in a bar.
If your life seems a bit empty and you're having trouble finding a date, here's some suggestions on how to solve both of those problems in the same move:
1. Get a pet.
Of course, we aren't advocating using an animal just for a social accessory. But having a pet or two around gives you some dimension. A dog will get you outside in the fresh air, taking it for walks and giving you a chance for social contact. A cat will give you some companionship and a chance to post funny cat pictures in your profile. Even a goldfish, a hamster, or an exotic pet such as a reptile will at least give you something to talk about. It's also an encouraging sign to a prospective partner if you can show that you can at least support one other creature besides yourself.
2. Get a hobby.
Collecting is a good one. Collecting coins, stamps, postcards, comic books, dolls, or anything, really, gives you instant depth. You learn new things, you have something to be passionate about, you get out to shows and conventions that revolve around your hobby, and in at least most cases you have something of real value that makes a good investment.
3. Start a new career path.
We're not advocating just doing this for the sake of doing it. But you might ask if your career is making you unhappy, and if you'd rather be doing something else. You can also start a second career. This may be a simple move like going to college part-time or moonlighting a second hobby into an income stream. Here again, people who are happy in their work and make decent money are just a better dating prospect all around.
4. Join a social club.
The best kind are those that revolve around some game or pastime. Clubs are all over the world for chess, backgammon, rummy, bridge, Go, poker, and other competitive games. Or if you're interested in gardening, small investing, painting, or other wholesome activity with a wide following, there's usually a club for it.
5. Travel.
Travel broadens you. You get exposure to different cultures, discover new foods and things you didn't even know you liked, and you might even pick up a foreign language or two. At the very least, you're bound to run into an adventure or two that will give you a fun story to tell.
6. Volunteer!
Help the homeless, counsel runaways, deliver toys to needy children, rescue stray animals, or work at a shelter for battered women. The world always needs more people doing this anyway. You can also become an activist for a cause you believe in; campaign for an election, work to raise public awareness on an issue, or picket and protest something you believe is wrong. It will cost little to nothing for you, but will give you confidence that you can make a difference in this world, give you some broader social contact by socializing with your fellow volunteers, and best of all, it lets prospective partners know that you have a heart. Just don't be such a zealot about it that it puts people off.
There, now, doesn't this make sense? that's what we mean by 'Get a life!' If you had to pick between somebody who stays in their room all day watching the telly and someone who collects silver commemorative medals, keeps an iguana, has done a two-year stint in the Peace Corps in Zimbabwe, plays cribbage weekly with a group of friends, and is studying to be a portrait photographer... who would you find more interesting?
You're filling in your online dating profile. You're racking your brain to think of things to write about. 'I enjoy long walks.' Yes, we all do. What else? 'I'm looking for someone.' Well, duh, you're on a dating website! 'I love horses.' Do you even own one?
It can be quite a blow to your ego to sit down to write about your life and discover that you ran out of things to say in six sentences. Furthermore, that audience of strangers out there might find you a tad boring. Especially in the case of young people just starting out, you don't have much of a life going on to talk about yet. What you need to do is turn yourself into a fascinating person, with depth and broadness and stimulating things to talk about. Somebody who's too busy to hang out in a bar.
If your life seems a bit empty and you're having trouble finding a date, here's some suggestions on how to solve both of those problems in the same move:
1. Get a pet.
Of course, we aren't advocating using an animal just for a social accessory. But having a pet or two around gives you some dimension. A dog will get you outside in the fresh air, taking it for walks and giving you a chance for social contact. A cat will give you some companionship and a chance to post funny cat pictures in your profile. Even a goldfish, a hamster, or an exotic pet such as a reptile will at least give you something to talk about. It's also an encouraging sign to a prospective partner if you can show that you can at least support one other creature besides yourself.
2. Get a hobby.
Collecting is a good one. Collecting coins, stamps, postcards, comic books, dolls, or anything, really, gives you instant depth. You learn new things, you have something to be passionate about, you get out to shows and conventions that revolve around your hobby, and in at least most cases you have something of real value that makes a good investment.
3. Start a new career path.
We're not advocating just doing this for the sake of doing it. But you might ask if your career is making you unhappy, and if you'd rather be doing something else. You can also start a second career. This may be a simple move like going to college part-time or moonlighting a second hobby into an income stream. Here again, people who are happy in their work and make decent money are just a better dating prospect all around.
4. Join a social club.
The best kind are those that revolve around some game or pastime. Clubs are all over the world for chess, backgammon, rummy, bridge, Go, poker, and other competitive games. Or if you're interested in gardening, small investing, painting, or other wholesome activity with a wide following, there's usually a club for it.
5. Travel.
Travel broadens you. You get exposure to different cultures, discover new foods and things you didn't even know you liked, and you might even pick up a foreign language or two. At the very least, you're bound to run into an adventure or two that will give you a fun story to tell.
6. Volunteer!
Help the homeless, counsel runaways, deliver toys to needy children, rescue stray animals, or work at a shelter for battered women. The world always needs more people doing this anyway. You can also become an activist for a cause you believe in; campaign for an election, work to raise public awareness on an issue, or picket and protest something you believe is wrong. It will cost little to nothing for you, but will give you confidence that you can make a difference in this world, give you some broader social contact by socializing with your fellow volunteers, and best of all, it lets prospective partners know that you have a heart. Just don't be such a zealot about it that it puts people off.
There, now, doesn't this make sense? that's what we mean by 'Get a life!' If you had to pick between somebody who stays in their room all day watching the telly and someone who collects silver commemorative medals, keeps an iguana, has done a two-year stint in the Peace Corps in Zimbabwe, plays cribbage weekly with a group of friends, and is studying to be a portrait photographer... who would you find more interesting?
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